The Korean Times
by The Violent Tomboy
Summary: Because Korea needs more love. Bits and pieces of its history and /pop/culture. Chapter 11: Boom!
1. For Education!

Bits and pieces of Korea's history and (pop)culture. Ranges from most genres and time periods. Cultural notes at the end.

'Cause Korea needs more love. (And the fact that nobody really knows anything about Korea. Me included. And I'm Korean...)

* * *

**Chapter 1**: For Education!

* * *

"America-ssi! America-ssi!" Korea cried out. America saw him coming and immediately crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're not going to grope me, are you? Japan and China warned me about you…" he said warily.

Korea laughed as he raised an oversized sleeve. "No, but can I come over to your place so that you can privately tutor me?"

"Why would I want to do that?" America asked, cocking his head to the side.

Korea pulled out a massive wad of cash out of one sleeve. "Is this enough to cover the expenses?"

America's jaw dropped. "Um, what's the exchange rate again…?"

"Oh, is this not enough?" Korea asked, mistaking America's shock for something else. He dropped the wad on the ground and began to vigorously shake his sleeves. A near endless of stream of bills poured out. "I'm not sure if this is enough to compensate you for tutoring me…"

America promptly put an arm around Korea's shoulders, smiling widely as he adjusted his glasses so the light hid his eyes. "Now, let's begin those tutoring lessons, shall we? Learning new things is important after all!"

"Yay!" Korea said, raising his hands in joy. "I got the best deal ever!"

"Of course you did," America agreed as he wondered where he'd keep all of Korea's money.

* * *

**Cultural notes**: '-ssi' is the Korean equivalent of '-san'. Whatever you do though, never say this to anybody with their family name, as this is considered very rude. As nearly 99.999 percent of Koreans are either named Kim or Lee, this is understandable. (Thank god I'm not one of them.)

It is pretty scary how much money Korea pours into education. Become an English teacher in Korea (probably at a cram school), and not only will you make a crazy amount of money in a relatively short amount of time, the government will cover most, if not all, of your bills. Especially if you're from out of the country. English teachers are in seriously high demand.

Not only that, but a lot of parents are also spending a crazy amount to send their kids to America for American schooling. The families they stay with get very nicely compensated to have strange kids living with them for a few years. My family has already done it with three different girls, one living at our house right now.


	2. Make It Easier!

**Chapter 2**: Make it Easier!

* * *

China looked over Korea's paper, which was so illegible that the words on it looked more like stick figures fighting each other to the death. Sighing sadly, China tapped the pouting Korea on the head. "You do realize how important it is to be able to read and write, do you not-aru?"

"But the writing system you invented is so _hard_!" Korea whined, rubbing his head with tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "Why does every word have to be its own letter?! It's so confusing!"

China sighed again, but before he could point out his writing system's benefits, Korea snatched the paper out of his hands and stomped away.

"Where are you going-aru?" China asked, somewhat surprised at Korea's sudden behavior.

Korea turned his head and shouted back, "I'm going to invent my _own_ writing system! Something so easy that even stupid people can learn how to read so that they won't be stupid anymore! **HA**!"

"You can't just _invent_ a brand new writing system-aru!" China sputtered out.

"Watch me!"

--

And so Korea invented hangul.

* * *

**Cultural notes**: Hangul is the native alphabet of Korea, a phonemic system organized into syllabic blocks.

Around 1443 or 1444, Sejong the Great, the fourth king of the Joseon Dynasty, realized that it was a problem that only privileged aristocrats knew how to read and write, seeing how the then-current writing system, based on China's, was so **frickin'** hard. Because he didn't want his kingdom to be full of illiterate idiots, he purposely made hangul easy to learn. Despite the fact that the project was a success (peasants learned how to read and write according to the new system _very_ well), the fore-mentioned privileged aristocrats got pretty pissed, so hangul was not officially acknowledged as Korea's writing system until 1894 when Korean nationalism was growing.

Apparently, hangul is so easy to learn that places outside of Korea have adopted it. In August 6, 2009, a small village in Indonesia successfully made hangul their official alphabet for their own language, Cia-Cia. Korean linguists are now pushing it in hopes that hangul will be used globally.

Of course, _I _suck at writing in hangul. My mom doesn't know whether to laugh or cry whenever I try to write something up on my own.


	3. Avenge Italy!

**Chapter 3**: Avenge Italy!

* * *

Italy was sobbing quietly to himself. And when Italy is crying and generally looking adorable while doing so, Germany cannot _not_ take notice of it, much to his chagrin.

"Italy?" Germany ventured. Italy promptly dove into a shocked Germany's arms, rubbing his teary face into his shirt.

"H-he's being s-so mean t-to me!" Italy wailed, not looking up while pointing to Korea, who appeared to be doing some sort of dance.

"I beat you, I beat you!" Korea was singing out.

Germany sighed, patting Italy on the head. "Do not worry, Italy. I will avenge you."

Italy looked up and Germany could not help but to blush at the sight of his hopeful face. "Really?"

Germany smiled gently. "Yes. Really."

Italy let out a cry of happiness and gave Germany one more tight hug, causing the taller man to flinch.

--

**The next day…**

Sweat was pouring down Germany's face as he ran towards his goal. Korea was standing in his way, determined to block him off. Germany narrowed his eyes, putting everything he had into this one, final attack…

With a mighty roar, he kicked the soccer ball with all his strength. And though Korea leapt out to stop the ball, it missed his fingertips by a mere inch. But it was enough.

_"AND GERMANY BEATS SOUTH KOREA! GERMANY MOVES ON TO THE FINALS IN THE FIFA 2002 WORLD CUP!"_

Korea fell to his knees, crying out how he could have lost while Italy was giving Germany another hug for congratulatory purposes.

* * *

**Cultural Notes**: None really. Korea did beat Italy (before Spain actually) in the 2002 World Cup but lost to Germany in the semi-finals. Ha ha, poor Italy got his ass kicked in the first round. Yes Germany, you avenged Italy. Too bad you lost to Brazil…

Seeing how soccer is pretty the sport of the world, there should be some art of the characters in soccer jerseys. That would be AWESOME. Besides, you all know what's going to happen next summer...cheer your home country on in 2010!


	4. Always Together

**Chapter 4: **Always Together

* * *

He didn't even have any energy left in him to cry, so he merely rested his head on her shoulder. In response, she wrapped her arms around him.

"Nuna?" he whispered.

"Yes?"

"I'm so tired. I don't want to go to work tomorrow."

His big sister sighed sadly as she nestled her nose into his hair. "You know what will happen if we don't work. You don't want our rice ration to be cut again, do you? We haven't had a decent meal in weeks."

"I don't care anymore," he said dully.

"Don't talk like that," she said sharply. "It won't stay this way forever. America will soon come to save us, and then we'll be free to do whatever we want. I can replant my flower garden, you can eat all the kimchi you want, and we can sing 'Aegukka' until our throats get sore."

"I can't wait that long," he said.

She began to run her fingers soothingly through his hair. Bandaged fingers, pricked and bloody from the many clothes she was forced to sew. "We have to make it through. We have to survive this. Better times will come, but only if we stick together. We must always remember who we are and take pride."

Her voice was strong and assuring. He snuggled closer to her. "You'll always be there for me, right nuna?"

She lowered her eyelids and tightened her embrace. "That's right. We've always been together, and that's how we'll make it through until the end."

He smiled. "I love you, nuna."

"And I'll always love you too, my precious dong-saeng."

* * *

**Cultural Notes**: So if it wasn't obvious already, the big sister is North Korea. 'Nuna' is what boys call their older sisters or any other girl older than them. 'Dong-saeng' means 'younger sibling'. There is no word for 'younger brother' or 'younger sister'.

Life sucked for Koreans when Japan occupied the country, 1910-1945. Despite/because of the fact that Japan systematically attempted to destroy all traces of Korean culture and forced Koreans to give up everything they had for the war effort, Korean nationalism grew. (_Not_ getting into the issue of comfort women here.) 'Aegukka' (Patriotic Song) is the name of both (different) Korean national anthems. The first version (written in 1896 and became known to all by 1910), the one they shared, was eventually scrapped because apparently it was sung to a Scottish folk song (?). Everyone still sang it in hopes of freedom. The South Korean version was made official in 1937.

Of course, after Korea was free of Japan, after all that talk about having to stick together…well, yeah…North and South (points accusing finger to Russia and America). As much as I'd love it, I don't see the two countries ever becoming one ever again.

You can say there has always been more than one Korea if you refer to the Three Kingdoms (geographically, I'd say North was once called Goguryeo, while South was once Shilla and Baekjea.)

I'm really not used to writing stuff like this, so feedback, please? Trust me, it's going to be _hard_ to write about Korea's history without making other countries sound like total assholes (think I did okay here). True, Korea probably does have its own asshole moments (what country doesn't?)...but seeing how Korea was once known as 'The Hermit Country'...yeah...and if I try getting into current North Korean policies...


	5. Live With Me!

**Chapter 5**: Live With Me!

* * *

One day, Goguryeo came home to unexpectedly find her big brother China and her little brother Silla there. She was used to seeing Silla here, as they were literally parts of one country (though she still generally ignored him), but she couldn't think of any good reason for China to be here as well. After all, she didn't have much of a good relationship with him.

"Oppa? Silla?" she asked.

China coughed into his hand. "Well, you see, Silla has been very lonely lately and he wants you to live with him-aru."

Goguryeo blinked. "Is that it? So Silla wants to live here with me?"

China coughed again. Silla began to jump up and down happily. "No! Nuna is going to live with _me_!"

"You see, Silla wants you to live with him very badly…and I sort of need some more space to put my stuff-aru…"

Goguryeo stared at her smiling little brother and her coughing older one. She took a deep breath…and the resulting screech could have been heard from the outside.

**_"WHAT?!"_**

(_BOOM!_)

"Please be reasonable-aru!"

(_CrashBang!_)

"_Out_! Out of my house _NOW_!"

(_CrashCrashCrack!_)

"You leave me no choice-aru!"

"Bring it on!"

"Nuna! Let's play!"

"Silla, what are you doing?! Let go of-"

"You leave yourself wide open-aru! Prepare for defeat-aru!"

"Silla, let go of me right-**_AH_**!"

--

Goguryeo found herself outside of her house with her little brother by her side, hugging her tightly with a big smile on his face.

"Oh yes, from now on you both are one country with one name-aru! You are both Korea-aru!" China called out from the inside.

Goguryeo, now Korea, shook her fist angrily but her little brother, now also Korea, tugged at her sleeve.

"Yay! Now nuna and I will be together forever!" he cheered and such pure joy radiated from his face that she couldn't help but to lovingly tousle his hair, even though he was taller than her.

"I guess I really will be with you forever," she said with a defeated sigh, smiling softly at the same time. Her little brother snuggled harder into her side.

Her expression suddenly hardened and it made her little brother freeze in terror.

"I'm still angry at you for costing me my own house."

He squeaked.

Big sister crossed her arms. "I may be living in your house, but I am your nuna. Now that I can keep a better eye on you…"

Her little brother whimpered. She rolled her eyes, huffing, and tousled his hair again. "Oh, stop acting like it's going to be all bad. You are my precious dong-saeng, and we have always been one country. As your nuna, that also means I have to work harder to take care of you as well."

_I really haven't been paying attention to you, have I? I guess now I have all the time in the world to make up for it..._

He smiled again at the playful touch, and the two of them held hands as they walked home.

* * *

**Cultural Notes: **My take of the Fall of the Three Kingdoms.

Like I said in the previous chapter, I decided to make North Korea Goguryeo while South Korea is both Silla and Baekje. Yes, apparently in my world Baekje doesn't exist. Hey, it's pretty hard to describe how three became one and then became two. So I'm just sticking with two.

Out of all Three Kingdoms, Goguryeo was the most militaristic, regularly looking to expand, but at the same time, they generally treated the lands they took over well. The leaders of the lands they took over were allowed to live and stay in power, just so long as they continued to give tribute. So here, she's violent and ready for a fight...but still kind and reasonable when said fight is over.

China (then in the Tang dynasty) helped Silla take over Baekje and Goguryeo in the year 668. In return, much of Goguryeo's lands were given to China, and Korea was left with the land it has today. However, the remenants of Goguryeo led a successful rebellion, and so modern Korea descended Goguryeo instead of Silla. Hey, where do you think the name 'Korea' came from? Kind of ironic actually, seeing how Silla is supposed to be South...

North Korea will pop up now and again, but only when plot explicetly requires it. Any time Korea is represented as only one being, South Korea will show up only. I'm growing quite fond of her...which is why I'm not looking forward to the day I eventually write the chapter where they get split up...(sob)

Oh yes, one final thing. 'Oppa' is what girls call their older brothers or boys older than them.


	6. Shrinking!

**Chapter 6: **Shrinking!

* * *

Japan lurched when a pair of hands came out of nowhere and grabbed his chest from behind.

This, unfortunately, he was used to.

What he didn't expect, however, was when the hands started to pat him as they went up and down his body.

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_ Japan shrieked as he twirled around to break free and face his assailant. "Do you honestly wonder why I never send you anything for Valentine's or White Day?! Go away and eat jajangmyeon by yourself!"

Korea didn't seem to hear him, as he was studying him with a thoughtful look on his face. He placed a hand flat on Japan's chest (with Japan quickly slapping the offending hand away) before comparing their heights by moving his hand back and forth between their foreheads. With the thoughtful look still on his face, he then he rested his chin on his fist...and resting his elbow (rather easily) on Japan's head.

Japan was still and silent for three seconds.

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" _he shrieked again, forcing Korea's elbow off his head.

Korea responded with a huge grin. "I think I got taller! Your breasts are lower than I remember."

Japan went brilliantly red in the face. "Ridiculous!"

"Or you shrunk," Korea replied, shrugging his shoulders.

Japan's eyes widened before he ran off to the next room. Korea scratched his head in confusion before Japan's horrified screams rang out in the air.

"I'm shrinking?! I'm _SHRINKING_! Curse you rising sea levels!"

* * *

**Cultural Notes**: This chapter, I guess I just wanted some fun, light-hearted interaction between Korea and Japan.

Yes, Japan is indeed losing landmass due to rising sea levels. I'm not sure (ie, didn't bother checking) if this is something that's happening continuously and we have to worry about where all our favorite manga-ka have to live in the future.

Like Japan, Korea celebrates Valentine's Day and White Day, but we also have April 14th, Black Day, in which people who didn't give or receive any gifts get together and eat jajangmyeong while lamenting or joking about their single status. Jajangmyeong is Korea's most popular noodle dish: wheat noodles (best if handmade) in thick black bean sauce along with diced meat and veggies. (It really tastes awesome, try it if you ever get the chance!)

Oh yes, one final thing. I am tall for an Asian female and I find lots of mean-spirited joy in resting my elbow on shorter people while teasing them on what great elbow rests their heads make. Sometimes, it's fun being a douchebag. I admit it.


	7. McDonald's!

**Chapter 6: **McDonald's!

* * *

Today Korea was showing America around Seoul, the capital of the country he represented. Korea led America through everything the city had to offer.

"So America-ssi, are you enjoying the tour?" Korea asked, waiting eagerly for the approval and praise.

America's stomach replied by rumbling loudly. He laughed sheepishly in response. "Yeah, but can we stop to get something to eat now?"

"Ooh, there are a lot of really good places to eat here!" Korea said happily. "Let's go over to my favorite kalbi resta-"

"McDONALD'S! YES! YOU HAVE IT HERE TOO!" America didn't even hear Korea's suggestion as he promptly ran over to the door that bore the sign of the iconic golden arches, leaving an outline of his body behind with Korea.

By the time Korea got inside, America was already making his order. "A Big Mac, large Coke, large Fries and, hm, maybe I should get dessert too…let's see…WHAT IS THIS IS?!"

"America-ssi, what's wrong?" Korea said in worry. America was shaking and silently pointing to something on the menu.

Green tea McFlurry.

Korea laughed. "Well, we did want to add some more healthy things to the menu. You should check out our Starbucks sometime. We have sweet potato frappuccinos!"

"How could you change the menu?!" America cried out, covering his eyes with his arms to stem the tears. Oh the horror! Oh the blasphemy! Oh the-

--

"Mm, this is pretty good," America commented as he took another sip of his green tea McFlurry, both of them now seated. "Maybe we should have this back home."

Korea smiled. "Glad you like it!"

* * *

**Cultural Notes**: Yes, we do have green tea McFlurries and sweet potato fraps. I never had them myself, but my sister says they're awesome. I'm guessing from these that the other American eatery franchises in Korea probably have their own original additions to the menus.

Kalbi (or galbi, whatever) is very popular in Korea as well as Japan. You might have seen it in some anime (it's Akimichi's Chouji's favorite food, besides potato chips). It's marinated barbaque beef, usually cooked right in front of you on the table. It's fun to eat with other people. Slight warning: the (wonderful) smell of the cooking kalbi, thick, meaty, and smoky, has a habit of sticking onto you and your clothes. My dog always knows when we've been eating it and goes nuts. It's a good thing the restaurant wraps up the bones for us to take home for her.

Well, there's so much going on in Seoul that I can't really summerize it. I'll just leave it off saying that it's one of the most economically powerful cities in the world.

Hope you liked it, and please review!


	8. Gone

**Chapter 8: **Gone

* * *

**_Freedom._**

What a beautiful word.

The male of the Korea siblings skipped merrily down the dirt road, wondering if he could try some of Nuna's homemade kimchi. Sure, she had told him not to disturb the kimchi while it was still fermenting and the taste would probably be sour if he ate it now, but it had been so long since he had some kimchi, years in fact! Maybe she would give in and let him have some. Her too, of course, she hadn't had any as well…

His arms were filled with flowers of different colors; mugunghwa, Roses of Sharon. He had found a large patch of them and he picked many of them for his sister. It was her favorite kind, and she would be so happy to see them…girls were weird like that.

The sky was blue, the breeze played with his bangs, and his smile nearly split his face into two.

_We made it through the end, Nuna. We're finally free to do whatever we want. We have the rest of eternity to spend our days together in laughter and happiness…_

He did his best to ignore the clouds and worries in his heart; that they were still a weak and vulnerable country, all their resources had been taken for the use of the Imperial Army, and though many of their people who were taken away were returning, far more were either dead or still missing.

Some had even returned just to die in front of their families.

No, he wasn't going to dwell on it now. After all their struggles and hardships, surely, at least, he was allowed some time to spend peacefully with his sister. Besides, he had heard that America was planning to come over to visit one day to help their economy back on their feet.

_So everything is going to be okay._

"Nuna!" he yelled out as he came through the door. "Look what I found! Nuna!"

There was no answer.

He didn't know why dread suddenly clenched him.

The flowers fell to the floor, forgotten, when he tore through the house, looking for her but to no avail.

Nuna was gone.

_"We've always been together…"_

They were one country. He knew that something was wrong, so very wrong. But still, there was no reason to think that she hadn't stepped out for a moment, so he simply plopped down at the doorway, waiting for her return.

That's how America found him several days later, curled up on the doorway with several long-since dead flowers by his side.

And the younger brother did _not _take the following news well.

_At all._

* * *

**Cultural Notes**: There were plenty of problems Korea had to face even after they were free of Japan. They were left poor, had no military, no resources, not to mention the Japanese residents took whatever they could with them when they had to leave. It was easy for America and Russia to come in to assert their power.

A lot of Koreans were taken to the front lines. The guys were used as labor (mostly digging ditches) and were overworked, mistreated, and starved. The girls were...um, sex slaves. Few survived the harsh treatment. There are still some survivors to this day, crying out for retribution.

The Rose of Sharon, mugunghwa, is Korea's national flower, symbolizing immortality.

I'll have another chapter up some time (no idea what chapter) that will have the two Koreas reuniting under...less than pleasant situations and the aftermath.


	9. StarCraft!

**Chapter 9: **StarCraft!

* * *

Korea's eyes were glued onto the TV screen, which depicted an army of Zerg units rushing and slaughtering a smaller troop of Terran soldiers.

"And Hwasueng OZ has managed to wipe out a fleet of his enemy's troops! How will KT Rolster react?!" the announcer yelled out over an entire stadium's worth of cheering fans.

Korea cheered and jumped up from the couch. "Go Hwasueng! Zergs _rule_!"

Japan, who was sitting next to him, sighed. "Don't you think you're a little too obsessed with StarCraft? And why did you even bring me over? And did you even finish the animation project?"

"Isn't this awesome?!" Korea gushed, apparently not hearing the three questions that were asked of him. "Look! The Terran main base is about to be attacked! HA! I'm so glad StarCraft originated in Korea!"

"Didn't America-san invent StarCraft?" Japan pointed out before he got smacked in the face with one of Korea's flailing arms. "No way! KT is putting up a great fight!"

Well, the enthusiasm for the game definitely couldn't have come from anywhere else, that was for sure.

* * *

**Cultural Notes: **Koreans and StarCraft. Where do I **begin**?

Let's see, there are **gigantic, frickin' stadiums **with **gigantic, frickin' screens **for the sole purpose of watching people play StarCraft. There are **at least three television channels **dedicated to nothing but StarCraft. There are **official, professional teams and players **for StarCraft. People get **incredible paychecks that we can only dream about **by just playing StarCraft. And there is something akin to a **college recommendation **for being really good at StarCraft.

God, StarCraft is indeed the offical sport of Korea.

Online gaming in general is really big in Korea. Basic internet is free in Korea because everybody pays money to play some MMORPGs online. Yes, there are also channels dedicated to that too.

Japan's comment to Korea about the animation refers to that many anime and American cartoons are in fact animated in Korea. That's probably why Korea doesn't really have any animated shows of their own, despite the fact they do have their own comic industry (AKA manhwa).

Well, hope you enjoyed learning how Korea is a country of ultimate geekiness!


	10. Snap

**Chapter 10: **Snap

* * *

Watching her little brother skip out merrily into the sun, she knew that in time, though he'd never forget, he'd eventually forgive Japan and move on with a smile on his face.

She wasn't sure if she could.

Now that she was free, free from Japan, free of her own little brother as he was out of the house and she was finally alone, there was no need for her stoicism, the façade that kept her from cracking underneath the strain. The fragile barrier that kept her emotions in check for the past few decades let out a quiet sigh of relief and snapped, leaving her to fall to her knees and break down into a crying mess.

She wept for all the people that had been killed and taken away, for all their culture that had been nearly wiped out, for the state that their country was in…for the failed resistances she had joined but ultimately failed in…

She could never forgive Japan for what he had done to them, what he had done to_ her_…

_"Such a rebellious girl must be properly punished…"_

As the tears ran down her face, she screamed out a strangled, desperate, angry scream and fisted her hands so tightly that her nails drew blood from her palms. She hated it, hated it, _hated her weakness_…hadn't she once been a kingdom with a powerful military? What happened to her?

When a hand was suddenly on her head, she jerked away, her first thought being of horror as someone was witness to her moment of weakness. She looked up to face her visitor, whom she could tell was another country, narrowing her eyes to show that she wasn't going to back down for him or anyone else. The effect would've been much more threatening if not for the fact her face was still wet.

The strange man, easily identifiable by his huge scarf, smiled at her as he gently wiped her tears away with his gloved fingers. She was taken aback by this act of kindness and didn't know how to respond. She wasn't used to kind foreigners.

"You are Korea, yes?" he asked. She nodded silently. His smile stayed, but his eyes seemed to sadden as he gripped her shoulders hard enough to make her wince.

"I understand, for I too have lost many precious things."

She stiffened at those words. His hand, the hand that patted her head and wiped her tears and bruised her shoulders, was now being offered to her.

"Let us regain what we have lost, together."

Her mind was strangely empty as she put her bloody hand in his, staining his glove, allowing him to pull her up to her feet and lead her away.

_I'll get everything back…_

"Everyone will become one with Russia, yes?"

* * *

**Cultural Notes**: And here's what happened when in chapter 8 when South Korea went off picking flowers. I've never seen how other people portray North Korea and how/why s/he joined Russia. I hope this does history justice.

Back then during the occupation, the then North Korea was much more active in the resistance movement...and thus subject to more horrific bloodshed. I guess that's why North Korea is starting to go crazy. Make what you will of that one line from Japan there. Chances are, whatever you thought of was ten times worse in reality. In-story wise, North Korea kept all her frusteration and despair bottled up as not to worry her brother, thus going even more insane. When Russia took in North Korea, they drove out any remaining Japanese residents (which was very much appreciated), but were only a_ little_ bit nicer than Japan. Most Koreans were so used to dealing with crap that they were overjoyed to be dealing with slightly less crap. Not to mention that a lot of them were angry at America for not beating Japan fast enough and helping Japan's economy back up after the war. That said, some didn't want to be treated like crap at all and attempted to hop the border to the South, and yes, you'd get killed if you got caught.

(Thank you grandma and grandpa for not getting shot!)

And in case you're wondering why in-story Russia only went for North Korea and not South as well, he didn't know that the one country was represented by two beings ^-^. China gave him quite a tongue-lashing for that.


	11. Boom!

**Chapter 11: **Boom!

* * *

The sea breeze played with Japan's bangs as he sailed closer and closer to Korea's shores. _Though the tides had initially been in my favor, Korea has been successfully fending me off as of late. Not only that, China will soon arrive to back him up…I must win this war before th-_**WHAT IS THAT THING?!**

Japan's eyes popped out of his eyes as what could only be described as a giant metal turtle with a dragon's head was heading straight towards him.

From its mouth, a voice loudly demanded, _"Go away, but give me back my stuff first or face my wrath!"_

Japan couldn't move, frozen in shock in the midst of that monstrosity.

_"Have it your way!"_

The head promptly began to shoot out fire. Japan's wooden ship didn't have a chance.

A scream rang out into the air.

00

Covered in soot and third degree burns, Japan stumbled onto the Korean shores, grateful that he was still alive.

"I told you to go away!"

Japan looked up to see Korea perched up on a nearby hill, a strange wooden contraption next to him. Korea waved cheerily down at him before lighting the fuse and sticking his fingers into his ears.

A massive salvo of arrows flew up into the air before descending upon him. Japan immediately took back his previous remark about being grateful.

The second scream was louder than the first.

* * *

**Cultural Notes: **From 1592-1598, Japan was on a conquest to take over Korea. Initally, they were winning, but Korea managed to eventually turn things around. Though sources are scarce and likely exaggerated, it is widely believed that these two weapons are the cause: the turtle ship and the hwacha.

The turtle ship's deck was completely covered with a metal roof with spikes on it so that people wouldn't be able to jump on it. Its weapons were various types of cannons, which could be fired from the sides or from the dragon head's mouth. The head could also spew smokescreens or poisonous gas.

The hwacha is the first weapon ever invented anywhere that was capable of firing multiple projectiles. It is a wooden cart capable of firing either 100 iron tipped arrows or 200 rockets. They could travel at a distance of at least 500 feet and explode on impact, taking out a huge chunk of an invading army. Myth Busters did an episode on the hwacha a few years ago, confirming that yes, this was indeed one badass weapon.

In case you might be wondering why we didn't use these against Japan during the occupation, Korea had been enjoying an era of peace for quite some time and didn't stock up.

Korea's demands that Japan give back his stuff refers to the fact that during the confusion of the war, Japan kidnapped many skilled Koreans, including potters, scholars, weavers, metal-workers, and so on. Though there are a lot of uptight Koreans who incorrectly believe that all aspects of Japanese culture originates from Korea, it's not too hard to see where that belief comes from. Hell, this means that a lot of Japanese people today probably have some Korean lineage.

Must...write...more...comedy...before...moving...onto...more...angst...maybe I should give North Korea her own separate story...


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